At the moment....

Greetings, I just want to thank whoever and whatever higher power for allowing me to live my life. To have the freedom and courage to have an adventure, all while working and learning. I have a new found sense of understanding of the person I want to be.

I am more conscious of the things I say, especially when I am talking to my nieces and nephews. I NEED to motivate them to know that they can take risks. They can make money and be Great people!!! I love those babies. The struggles that they are enduring now WILL make them better people. They don't realize that now, but one day they will. I hope that they use the experiences that they are going through and understand that life can get better. Happiness is possible at all ages. They must become enlightened and show others the way to enlightenment. Yes, it is a process......Don't be fooled. It's a worthwhile process.

So....my life in New York is cool. Despite popular belief....I'm not broke. I still work everyday. I am maintaining a 4.0 in Grad school. I'm happy. I wake everyday looking at a brick wall....but I can catch glimpses of sunshine. I know that I have rough times ahead because I remember rough times that I have left behind.

I am in talks with an agency in San Francisco that truly sounds like a great opportunity. I would be working on a major account and the salary isn't too shabby. It will be very interesting to see where this leads me. I'm open to traveling anywhere. I just need to make sure it's the right fit for me. The firm that hires me needs to understand that I am dedicated and hard-working, but I'm also goofy as shit.

I call that Balance. :-)

Damn....I need to do some yoga. I found a studio around the corner from the crib. I will be checking that out. They actually have a class called "Power Nia". Holla if you hear me!!!! LOL. I went in to get information last week and there was a guy who was mad cool. Said that he never met anyone named Nia before. I'm probably the only NIA you need to know. HA!

In closing..... Be careful of the things you say. Remember karma is activated by thoughts, words, and actions.

Love. N*

State of Mind....

First and foremost, I need to stop making grammatical errors. That is not even my steelo.

I read my previous post and it was chock filled with errors. Check....then double check Nia. You know better.

So......I'm in New York.

For good.

This feels amazing and surreal and encouraging. Being here is just going to be good for me. Struggles and all. I have this overwhelming sense of calm, yet I'm eager and hungry and excited to see what I am really capable of. I can do this. I can so do this.

I'm happy. Regardless of what I do and don't have. I'm growing as a person. I need to continue to learn life lessons. Remember these lessons. Continue to enlighten. It's bringing me closer to enlightenment. Life is really about to start. Hell yes!!!!

Maybe it's the excitement. Or the uncertainty. Life is really happening and I'm taking every advantage of it. Adventure time!

Love yourself always.

Be happy.

Nia.

P.S. Thank you Taryn. Really. For continuously motivating me to change my life. For continuing to change my life.  <3

How long has it been??

I have literally been in my own little world for so long, I have managed to neglect the only place that kept me sane. I'm pretty sure that no one reads my blog. Shit, I don't even write on the damn thing anymore. But that needs to change. I have a lot of projects going on so these will definitely help me keep everything together in one spot. I have notes on napkins, in my iPad, in my notebook, in my calendar, and online. Blah!! TOO damn much.

Random thought: I really want to go to Red Lobster. They are having ENDless Shrimp!!! Hell yeah!!!!!

So....

At the moment....

 - Start sketching for Queen or Concubine. Too damn excited to be designing. This is going to be amazing!

- Continue research for community garden. Take measurements for indoor and outdoor test gardens. Continue to research hydrophonic options.

- Continue business plan for community garden. Begin business plan for Purpose Management. Learn this software.

- Stay focused on your homework! Must get an A this term.

- Start recruiting for As I Am. Confirm number of products being tested (last count: 4). How are they planning to change the Curling Jelly?

- Discuss SMSi project with Deej and Sandy. Explore experiental strategies being used. How can these be adapted for gift bags? Consumer outreach is main objective of project. Develop a relationship with these respondents. Quaker meeting? That's all I can think of right now.

Oh....

- Continue job search. Put yourself out there. You are doing well. Continue to maintain positive relationships with connects.

Follow-Up....that's what you do!

Finally,

Nia.

Game

I have all types of game, but I need to become a better executer and closer. Clearly I've been watching a lot of basketball lately. Lol. 
______________________________________________________________________


When you do go to sleep,
what do you think about?

Dream about?

In your fantasy world,
what do you live without?

Is pain and strife nonexistent?

Is it a world where you are hardly ever timid?

Unafraid of yourself
Your possibilities
Your destinies

In my fantasy world, you are one of the rulers

Measuring me up,
Dictating the rules of my love.

Your charisma and power is something I could have never dreamed of.

As we lay in my bed,
Preparing ourselves to enter our domains imaginary,
I only have one request for now.

I ask that we fall asleep with our lips touching so our souls can converse through the night.

Fully sharing thoughts and memories without rations.

Making the rules and breaking the rules of our passion.

Continuously lighting our flame
For everytime we ignite, my fantasy world comes to light.



N*

Roll Call

I wonder who really reads my blog.

I just post just because I need a virtual library for the things that I want and need and feel and wonder and believe and desire.

If you do read my blog, thank you. N*

Got a big ego

One thing I have learned.

I must remove my ego from all situations.

Especially in love.

Who am I?!

Who am I to be upset that someone decides to talk to someone else?

Who am I to be mad that people don't drop everything to tend to me?

Who am I to be sad and bothered by someone doing what they feel is best for their life?

I would love to be the person that the world revolved around.

But I'll leave that shit for Beyonce.

I have to remove my ego and my insatiable desires from all situations. 

My life will reflect my choices.

No one else's.

My love will reflect an ego-less, balanced, and chemistry-laced bond that you and I will create.

I finally understand that people have to do what is best for them (while they are there) and I would be stupid to ask them to put everything on hold for me (while I am here).

Who am I?

N*

Memorial Day

May 23rd - until

La La Land.

N*

Busy Week Ahead

This will be my first TV Production and I'm so very excited.

Excited to get experience and luckily, the whole production staff is more than willing to help me with whatever I need during this campaign.

YAY!

N*

Random thought

On December 21, 2012........

I want to be in another country.......

Making love......

Just in case.

N*

Hmmmm..…

I'm considering starting a new blog.

A Black Girl's Guide to Buddhism.

I really don't want to say girl.... I'm a lady, woman. Girl just sounds better. You know I love alliteration.

N*

Bodhisattva

Mr. Cook, a carpenter, came to build a new closet in my room. He said "All you Bodhisattvas live on the 3rd floor."

Bodhisattva

In Buddhism, a Bodhisattva is anyone who is motivated by compassion and seeks enlightenment not only for him/herself but also for everyone...

Becoming a Bodhisattva is a huge step in helping not only yourself, but also every other sentient being, both seen and unseen. Most people are self-motivated and work primarily to solve their own problems, keeping others a distant second. Should someone do an act of kindness, repayment is generally expected whether in the form of a thank you and/or further praise.

A Bodhisattva is motivated by pure compassion and love. Their goal is to achieve the highest level of being: that of a Buddha. Bodhisattva is a Sanskrit term which translates as: Bodhi [enlightenment] and sattva [being]. And their reason for becoming a Buddha is to help others. The Bodhisattva will undergo any type of suffering to help another sentient being, whether a tiny insect or a huge mammal. In Shakyamuni Buddha's 'Perfection of Wisdom in 8,000 Lines' it states: "I will become a savior to all those beings, I will release them from all their sufferings." If this sounds familiar to anyone not acquainted with Buddhism, then you only need to think of the example of Jesus Christ, a true Bodhisattva.

N*

Friday the 13th

As you may know, 13 is my favorite number and triskadekaphobia is my favorite word. It just so happens that day is Friday the 13th.....one of the most mysterious days of the year. And just so happens that I'm having a great day.

It started last night. I went on an agency outing to see FELA. When I tell you it was amazing.....trust me! I recently watched a documentary about him on Netflix. His story continues to intrigue me and his music consistently captures me. To see movements with that music was just....incredible. The performers were amazing. The women were thicker than snickers and shaking all types of ass. I picked up a few new moves. ;-)

This morning was good. Had to drop something off at the client's and bumped into the Director of International Marketing. In the midst of conversation, I extended my help to her. This is MY line: "if you need some help, let me know. I'm available." Sometimes I add a wink. haha.

She told me that she was desperately trying to fill a position but didn't know anyone. Oh baby, you know me now. By the time I got back to the office, I had a job description in my inbox. Def sent her every piece of information.

Manifest.

At the office, I did some work, chatted with my mom, and chilled. Nothing crazy today. Thank God. Around 3, I was ready to go. So I acted restless in front of my boss like I always do when I'm bored. I packed my stuff and started dancing in the living room like I always do. Dani got up and started singing and we performed an lip sync/interpretive dance situation. My boss actually got it on video. That shit was hilarious. All you could see was our silhouettes. I finally realized today that I have a dancer's body. Woot!!!!

On my way to Hot Power Vinyasa Yoga. I'm about to sweat out every stress I have in the world. I'm actually excited to go to yoga and chant. I'm really embracing it. It feels good.

Oh, this song couldn't have come at a better time.



N*

April 10, 2012

Today was my niece Mariah's 5th birthday.

She is the funniest, smartest, most awesome baby that I've ever had in my life. She is just amazing.

She calls me "Chicken Head" among other funny names. I call her "Jerk Chicken".

We had a party for her at Me and Earl's old Pre-School. Such a walk down memory lane. Literally I haven't been in that building in 20 years. My picture was still on the wall and I look EXACTLY the same.

Of course all the 4-5 year olds gravitated to me. You know Auntie NIA love the kids. There was one lil sweet pea that sat on my lap the entire time. We played and talked about her family and her recent family vacation to Florida. She was nice and polite, petite and precious. I HAVE to remember to bring her the candy I promised her.

Her name was Taryn Marsh.

N*

I. Chant.

Nam-Myo-Ho-Renge-Kyo has gotten me through so many days.

As I embrace this journey of Buddhism, I chant every day, all day. It's helping me to stay calm about situations I can no longer control.

I chant because it keeps me balanced and reminds me that my happiness is imperative and possible.

N*

Friday the 6th

Crazy day in the heart department.

Cried so hard at the office today.... My boss that I was having an allergic reaction.

N*

Friday

I will post a video later. I have a lot to get off my chest.

Don't feel like writing.

N*

Energtic

Dedicated to Jay.

Lifeless moments interact with sparks of energy.
More than the balance it creates,
Notice how the energy causes shakes.
Vibrations and pulsations.
Random and underappreciated.
You are...
Underappreciated and random.
Shaking the neutrons in my darkness
Causing illumination
A warm tingling sensation.
Makes me wonder how energy feels
Or how negative and positive come together to seal the deal.
I should have walked away right from the very start
But the energy held me against my will
Supernaturally
And it happened constantly
The push and pull
The positive and negative
The reaction
The vibration
The sensation
The illumination
You are...

N*

Insecurities

They are so real.
Showing their face and true colors and ass in the most inappropriate times.
Insecurities, unfortunately have no boundaries, no relationship restrictions, and no how of understanding....
What you and I, me or he have been through.

I pray that you find balance and comfort in your life,
Your heart,
Your soul.
That would be a sight to behold.

N*

Why is it so hard to find someone that will keep me calm throughout my days?

A balancing force to help me get through these stressful days.

N*

I can't wait.....

Until it rains in the summer.

N*

Slightly frustrated

I'm going to scale back on my advancements, interest, and pursuits.

It's not getting me anywhere.

AND

All the wrong people are pursuing me. Blah!!

Happy Belated Single Awareness Day!

N*

Stuck.

.......

My hair feels so freaking awesome.

I went snorkeling while in Nassau and I guess the salt water smoothed out my situation. Lol.

And it's getting so long.

#LoveMyNaturalHair

N*

For. You.

Even if I was gushy....it would have no affect on you. You're an emotionless asshole (sometimes).

But the fact still remains.

I. Adore. You.

N*

Get Into IT!

Still one of my favs.

This song and video gave me LIFE. Nikka is a easy, breezy, beautiful bad bitch.

N*

Sales meeting

I've been at the Palomar Hotel all day for Namaste sales meeting. Great experience.

Surprisingly, I'm happy when I'm working.

That only means to me that I need to work harder.

N*

Every person that I've ever wanted in my life....
Fully, completely, truly
Uninhibited
Has hurt me.

A stranger reminded me of that.
Boldly told me I was a woman scorn.

I know that.

People don't understand how fragile I am. How gushy I am on the inside.

The constant trials and triumphs of life have hardened my shell. Impervious to heat, water, or love.

I know that.

Yet.
And.
Still.
I try to make people feel wanted. I want to be the sweetest person you've ever known. I want my energy to freely flow from me to your entity.

I long for love. I really do. Tell me what does it feel like for someone to just want YOU. I mean me. I have to stay patient. More optimistic than I should be. Getting much better.

Yet.
And.
Still.
I am a woman scorn.

The feeling. Hit me like 6 bricks in a tube sock. The 1st time.... 2nd time....every time.

The stranger hurt me. But told me I was a woman scorn.

I know that.

Balanced

It won't go away anytime soon.

I'm not pessimistic,

BUT

I'm not that optimistic.

It will balance out.

N*

Early Monday Morning

Your fingers laced with mine.
Your scent refuses to leave my pillow.
I prayed that it would stay.
As well as you.
No longer can I be greedy for your time and affection.
I'll use this time and space apart for reflection.

Safe travels.