Unexpected flutter

Words have become a major part of my life. After connecting with someone last year.....I found that joy again. The voice that I never really realized that I had. Understanding how to put simple words together to communicate complicated feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and values just amazes me. I think everyone has the ability to share through words. After the last person that I dated never felt the need or found the ability to write a poem for me, it really put a damper in our relationship. Communication was not a priority to this person and that's fine, but it doesn't work for me. I love to communicate. I'll tell my true feelings to a deaf man if he is willing to read my lips.

So when Jacob wrote me a poem only after a few days of communicating and enduring the struggles of life, it felt amazing. I can't even describe the feeling. This person is not a poet, but took time out of their day and energy from their mind to effectively communicate with my heart and soul.

I would love to blog what Jacob wrote but it's way too special to me.

N*

People are......

Psycho.

N*

Downfall #243

N*

Memoirs

I am really considering writing a memoir. For myself really. I don't have the most exciting life right now, but I guarantee you that some crazy shit happens to me. This movie called MY LIFE is currently playing a ton of songs right on top of each other. It's jumbled.....can't hear a consistent beat or rhythm.

Yet.....I like life right now. I like the state I'm in. I'm taking life and this journey in Alabama for what it is. Appreciate all the people that entered my world. Appreciate the weather for giving me a great tan. Appreciate the pollen for getting me addicted to Benadryl. Appreciate my roommates for being awesome. Appreciate my family for being so supportive during this time.

Appreciate YOU (whoever you are) for seeing something in ME (whomever I am).

I might start writing when I get on the plane to go back to Chicago. My mommy told me that she just wanted me to relax.....and for the 1st time in a long time.....I feel like I'll just be able to breathe.

N*

Jay.

This person makes my heart flutter.

I felt butterflies for the 1st time in forever.

I've been bold lately.

Made the 1st move.....

Went in for the kiss.

Well worth it.

Peace momentarily.

Ended in chaos.

N*

Late Nights

Lay behind me
Place your hand around my throat
Pull me closer
Control my breath
As I fall into slumber
You will control my thoughts.

N*

My BABY!!!!

Today is the 8th birthday of my AWESOME god-daughter Kennedy Ja'lyn Truitt. I love her more than Hello Kitty. I love her more than the air I breathe. I love her more than everything in the world.

She always tells me she loves me more than food.

I love that little girl.

N*

p.s. Also, a very Happy Birthday to one of my favorite ex's Jason. He told me when I come home, we're getting married. Let us laugh in unison.

D.a.m.n.

I thought of some dope shit this morning.
While I was brushing my teeth.
Now I have forgotten.
Damn you delicious Colgate for distracting me.

N*

4/11/2011

I'm working through my problems.

In the past, this blog has been a major release for me.

Now, I'm afraid of how bad my fingers will hurt and how long my posts will be if I really vent the way I want to.

Nothing to serious going on, just need to release.

But I have work to do.....

So it'll have to wait.

N*

Le français

Pornos
Some Hormones
And some boxes of Digiorno
You homos
Is loco
You're probably drinking Cuervo
With some Vatos
With the door closed
Watching Zorro
You homos.

French by Tyler, The Creator (Toro y Moi remix)

(this kid is a beast!)

N*

....WHEW.....

356 items of clothing.......
60 pairs of shoes............
A plethora of belts, purses, undies, and hats......

I am finally ready to starty packing and shipping my stuff to Chicago!!!!!
WOOT WOOT!!!!

Can I get a HELLS YEAH!?!?!

36 days.

N*

I'm Good

I'm good now.

Sometimes you just have to let things and people go (Deej reminded me of this). I understand that many people are blah about me leaving and I def understand. If people begin to distance themselves from me, they are doing it for their own personal reasons and I can't be mad at that. I'm sorry, but I won't beg anyone to come around and hang out or do the things we used to do as friends if they really don't want to.

Hopefully, we will remain friends despite our recent distance. Nevertheless, I'm GOOD! I have toooooooo much that I need to be focused on to be worried about my friends, or lackthereof. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. I will always remain friends with the people I invite into my life.

Reciprocity is never my goal or objective.

N*