Today

I haven't been on here in a week.
 
WHOAAA!!!!

I've really been concentrating on other things. My fam came in town and I loved every second of it. The time just went by toooooo fast. But I will see them again for NYE! Oh...let me correct myself....NY for NYE!!! Woot Woot

Black/White nautical striped shirt
Gap cardigan
Electric Blue knee length skirt
Deena & Ozzie Black wedges
(And my hair is still straight).

Until soon,
*

Today.....

Black wrap dress
Gray riding boots from Asos
Gray and Khaki cashmere sweater from the Gap
Prostitute Pink nail polish by NYC

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TODAY is a special day.
My roomies b-day
I love her soooooo.
She's awesome, but crazy
But growing.
She's helped me so many times,
I can't even count.
I'm going to miss her when she leaves
I love her soooooo.

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I'm tired.
Happy about the makeup I did last night at the photoshoot.
Made some money.
My mommy and brother will be here in a couple of hours
I'm about to piss on myself with excitement.
This is going to be a great week.

*

P.S. I'm praying for my god-daddy. He had a stroke last night. Reminder: I need to call Adam.

I Said......

I LOVE CEE-LO.

HE SHOULD BE A PROFESSOR

OR A DEITY.

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There's a difference......

SELL
1. to transfer (goods) to or render (services) for another in exchange for money; dispose of to a purchaser for a price.
2. to deal in; keep or offer for sale.
3. to make a sale or offer for sale to.
4. to persuade or induce (someone) to buy something.

SALE
1. the act of selling.
2. a quantity sold.
3. opportunity to sell; demand: slow sale.
4. a special disposal of goods, as at reduced prices.

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Got on.....

I've been put on by someone that I put on. So I'm on!!!



Thanks and You're Welcome!

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Show me where it's hiding......

Show me where it's hiding
I was along the millions
pressing 95555
Compelled to do my part
Assisting in the providing
I've seen this place
Before and after
Forgetting it was devastated by a natural disaster
Excuse me for blaming you, you, and YOU
Lying through your teeth
Proclaiming things are done that you can't do
Unable to complete
Raising money just helped you compete
in Mr. and Mrs. Thief 2010
On our TV screens begging 10 minutes after the earthquake began.
Pleading for the people to react
Getting your greedy hands ready to snatch
All the rupees, the euro, dinero
Touche my fellow
Sitting cool and mellow
Forgetting who's underground
Those people scream for help
And you're no where to be found.
Who's helping Haiti?!
Who's helping the babies?!
The Francois' need help
Where is Toussaint when you need him?
Rescue workers surrounding the children
But can't feed them.
I see you.
Can you see me?
Can you fear me?
I'm coming to get it
Make a permanent withdrawal
Coming to reclaim my shit
As I sit
In this chair
Thousands of miles away
Contemplating back and forth of what I could say.
'SHOW ME WHERE IT'S HIDING!"
Our money was to be used for the purpose of providing
Sighing
Damn near crying
Not understanding why
Then......
I remember the award you won
Mr. and Mrs. Thief 2010
In all of your pageantry
Who's helping Haiti?!
Who's helping these babies?!

*

Deep Fried Frenz

FRIENDS
.....as YOU call em
They call you when they need something
Trees for the bluntin'
to
G's for the frontin'
I found a way to get PEACE of mind for years and left the hell alone
Turn a deaf ear to the cellular phone
Send me a letter, or BETTER,
We could see each other in real life
Just so you can feel me like a steel KNIFE

-mf doom-
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Lately.....

- I haven't really wanted to hear any new music. I don't know why. I like my old, raggedy playlists. Try me next week though.

- I've been in a real MF Doom sort of mood.

- I've had the strongest urge to straighten my hair. (only a couple of more days)

- I've been missing my mommy and my brother (so happy we talked about our issues AND he apologized).

- I've been realizing that no one can shop for me. I don't have "a look" or "style". I dress like a homo-boy-farmer-southern belle-skateboarder-Blood-Crypt-Daniel Boon-pageant queen-fashion show producer-makeup whore-starving artist-lady. And I love polka dots and stripes.....together!

- I've been cool with my ex. It's nice. We understand each other. Drama and all.

- I've been really jealous and craving attention (a real woman can admit things such as this).

- I've been wanting to color my hair.

- I really want to make out like tomorrow is IT!

- I really want to remove a tattoo. Never have felt this way before, but this particular one is not what I envision when I see myself in my dreams.

- I've wanted to go away.....even to Chicago...if only for a couple of days.

- The girlies are considering NY for NYE! Delicious times

- I've been talking to mommy about possible career opportunities.

- I've been wanting to get another job. I don't feel productive if I'm not super busy. Busy fits me.

- I've been working out with Kristen and Felicia. Right and tight for the fall. I'm trying to pop out my turtleneck.

- Lately, I've been wanting to tell you again....that I miss you.

*

I need.....

I need some new ink.

Inspiration.

*

....Biological Anthropology....

We spent time in the Archaeology lab today. I felt like a kid in the candy store. There were skeletal remains of 2 bodies laid out for us. Both about 200 years old. I was FILLED with excitement.

Most of you will never know the feeling of being able to touch history like that. It's not a book, you can't read it and automatically know who, what, when, where, and why. These bones are amazing! I touch them and I feel an instant connection to whomever they belong to. My job as anthropologist and archaeologist is to find out who this person really is and how they ended up here.

In skeletal remains, I can figure out if you were abused, or if you were a man or woman, hunter, or gather, or a young child born with a disorder, or if you broke your arm, or didn't eat enough vegetables, or drank unfiltered water (or sometimes I can even determine their "race" but it's getting harder with the amount of multi-race reproduction). Can you even imagine that?

I'm still even surprised at myself for taking on this career path. One that I definitely plan on utilizing later in life. Right now, I want to be in brand marketing and fashion show production/makeup artistry, but I can't even explain the power I feel when I see bones. Power, but uncertainity....because regardless of what my schooling has taught me, this is still someone's core. Someone's structure. Someone's history. Someone's malnutrituion. Someone's accident. I have to decipher everything. It's a scary but inviting thought.

'Globalization of Genes'

'Race is soft tissue, not hard bones.'

'Race is becoming self-identify. Cultural.'

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Cataloging.......

Just something I wrote recently. I was inspired for a second. Too bad it didn't last.

Glance into (in two) worlds

When you go to sleep,
What do you think about?
Dream about?
In your fantasy world,
what do you live without?
Is pain and strife nonexistent?
Is it a world where you are hardly ever timid?
Unafraid of yourself
Your possibilities
Your destinies
In my fantasy world, you are one of the rulers
Measuring me up,
Dictating the terms of my love.
Your charisma and powers is something I could have never dreamed of.
As we lay in my bed,
preparing ourselves to enter our domains' imaginary,
I only have one request for now.
I ask that we fall asleep with our lips touching so our souls can converse through the night.
Fully sharing thoughts and memories without rations.
Making the rules and breaking the rules of our passion.
Continuously lighting our flame
For every time we ignite,
my fantasy world comes to light.

*

Ahhhh.....Birthdays

I want to wish my honey a Happy 21st Birthday.

                          CLIFF FRAZIER                       

The only man in this world that actually WANTS to have babies with me!

What an idiot.

I kid.

*Kisses*

We would make some spectacular babies though.

*



You need to....

Well....I need to step back and just be a friend.

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Today

I'm reading.

The Blacker The Berry.......

Already amazing.

First couple of pages in.

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Going strong

So I've been blogging for a entire month now....and I'm feeling good about it. I haven't posted as many things as I've wanted to. As much as I wanted to make this blog....I still find comfort in my thoughts remaining in my mind.

Also....a very happy birthday to my niece TIARA SASHA. I love her soooooo. She's in college now which makes me feel order than that thang, but I'm so proud of her. She's shy, and sweet, and charming. She's an amazing little lady. Once again, I feel bad for not being around, but she's going to excel as a person regardless of where I am. She knows that I am proud and grateful.

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Ahhhh..........

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The sayings of real men......

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.
Malcolm X


Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media.
Noam Chomsky


The revolution has always been in the hands of the young. The young always inherit the revolution.
Huey Newton


I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it's for or against.
Malcolm X


Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
Saul Alinsky


A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.
Saul Alinsky


Let me just say: Peace to you, if you're willing to fight for it.
Fred Hampton


The talk of winning our share is not the easy one of disengagement and flight, but the hard one of work, of short as well as long jumps, of disappointments, and of sweet success.
Roy Wilkins


The pray for the day when beautiful Black and Brown men truly know and feel their power. The power in their thoughts, in their voices, in their bodies, in the souls. Too often they are under appreciated, devalued, disrespected, and misrepresented. Not only is media doing this, not only is technology perpetuating this, but we as Black and Brown women are telling them this and treating them accordingly. How selfish have we become? How rude can we be? How come we are not supportive? How come we don't encourage? How much longer can we sit around and let our men disintegrate?


Beautiful Black men around the world, I adore you.


*

She said.......

"I'm trying to find peace in the solitude of not belonging."

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Black Girls ROCK!!!

I'm not a big fan of BET.....I don't think many people are. Over recent years, their programming has been subpar, award shows have been under produced and messy, and I don't think they have shed light enough on the positives of the Black/Brown community. Most of the time when I hear people complain about BET, they are referring to programming that reflects our African American community as 'ghetto' and worthy of being disrespected. People need to realize that there is a majority of the population that relates wholeheartedly to the faces and activities they see on BET. Many people live in the ghetto and deal with circumstances much worse than the FCC will allow to be shown on television. There is definitely an strong dichotomy when considering the impact television has on communities and the perceptions actually felt by these communities.

But I must say....there is a light at the end of the tunnel. My weekend has been filled with art, culture, good people, and inspiration. Thank the heavens that my weekend got the last jolt of energy from Black Girls ROCK, an event/awards shows featured on BET on Sunday night. I don't think I have enough words in my vocabulary to express how happy and proud and astounded and humbled and energized and amazed and inspired and motivated I was while watching the telecast. The production was amazing! The set design was breathtaking. The presenters looked beautiful. The women that were honored were powerful and definitely reassured and rewarded for their magnificence. It was amazing! I even cried (geez....I'm a creepy/sappy lame). And best of all.....Ruby Dee was honored. Good googly moogly I love that woman. She is just so elegant and graceful. You would have thought her shoes were made in the heavens the way she floats. She is an inspiration to me and sooooooo beautiful. She reminded people that fighting for what's right is a responsibility. It's our duty. It's what we're supposed to be doing.

In this world, I wish she had more power to command the masses. Sometimes I just feel sad for the society we live in. Instead of being led by powerful women and men, we are driods manipulated by technology and greed. We are lacking wisdom in our society. We are lacking family structure. We are DEFINITELY lacking peace and serenity. We are just......lacking. I pray that everyone gains some type of compassion and calmness in their lives. I pray for that.

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Cataloging

These poems are old....but I need to keep a record of them. That's what this blog is for.
                                                                                                            
Contact Lenses.....

Even though life happens
Our times are sometimes saddened
Common goals are to be happy
in a safe space
Mentally at the moemnt
I'm waiting for atonement
From my mistakes...mishaps...and misery
My only regret is not my actions
per say
But more the people affected by my ways
Even more I am continously affected by what you say
My eyes have been green for days.
                                                                                                                             
THE ART OF.......

From the twilight
to the moonlight
Beaming down through
the clouds
Around the atmosphere
and settling on my window pane
It's such a shame
Wish it could only reach just a little
more
Just enough to scorch my
flesh
The incandescence of my skin
mutes the fire within
Going against all of my peaceful nature
I yearn for intensity
Even infidelity
Cheating on my thoughts with fantasies of you
In my mind the halograms
of your skin come into view
Just teach me
I could read you
Pause as I put away Sun Tzu.

*

Right Now......

Sitting in the living room
Taking a break from drinking water
I'm trying to drink the recommended 8 glasses a day
:-/
I have on my awesome Hello Kitty robe
Thigh hi blue and silver socks
Smelling my feet

This is my Saturday night.

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Adore....

I just LOVEEEE this song!



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Today

Vintage black patent leather men's dress shoes
Charcoal gray Gap corduroy trousers
Silk black tank with pocket detail
Charcoal gray and oatmeal Gap cashmere sweater
Braids like Exhibit.

*

Tall is tall.

Right now

You surely do something to me
But right now
It's not good baby.

*

Junk Mail

I've been MIA lately. Trying to milk this birthday thing until it is DRY!!!!!!!!!! But I'm done with all of that now. Need to get back on my grind. Just like I should be.

This post might be kind of long.

I need to clean out some of words, thoughts, memories, and times in my phone and notebook. Since I'm 24 now ( =D ) I figured I would slightly start anew. Just for my own old sake.

Most of this stuff is unfinished and unorganized; however, they are my thoughts so they are always valid.

Projects don't equal progress like the polygon that demands you to halt.
It's not my fault.


I watch Penguins of Madagascar
Not able to camouflage the scar
that was left behind
How can you forget about
someone that quick?
Like I didn't even matter
But what makes me so much sadder,
The fact that I don't think you continue to care
Never enough to share
Your true feelings
Answers without the precedence of questions
My quest has been to be happy
and loved throughout your soul.
I must be half the woman she is,
Because she got the whole you
Able to hold you
The way I wanted to
Needed too

'I drink poison
Then
I vomit diamonds.'

Ok....my phone is acting janky now. Of course. I might post some later....never....who knows. Once again, this is just miscellaneous words, thoughts, aspects of life.

I still feel certain things.....unfortunately....I'm becoming numb.

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