Inspiration

My Advanced Seminar professor inspired me today more than any other professor I think I've ever had. Not only is she a cool ass Black woman...slightly afrocentric....100% intelligent....rocking a salt and pepper afro....but she's also a Doctor. She told us the story of her journey through education.

Went to college at 17.
Partied way too much (She dropped like it was hot in class....I promise you).
Finished her last 3 years of college with straight A's.
Had a family.
Went back to get her Master's degree when she was 40!!!!!
Got her Doctorate.
And now....she is paid!

This is someone I wouldn't mind being like when I grow up. But I want to get some experience in life. More experience. I NEED to travel. But as soon as I'm done with my escapades.....I'm getting my Masters of Arts in Socio-Cultural Anthropology.

N*

Yummmm...........

Kurty and I just made dinner. It's late, but it was well worth it.

Love my Kurty.

N*

Weekend Update

Nothing spectacular to report.

*Photoshot on Saturday morning.....well....that was kind of amazing!!! I'll post shots when I get them.

*My Chicago Bears lost....I damn near cried.

*I've been exhausted. Working like crazy. Starting to feel the pressure of my hectic schedule. I went to sleep at 12am...woke up at 7. The most sleep I've gotten in a long time.

*My mom has been bragging about her iPad that her best friend Joey got her for her b-day. (heard through the tech saavy grapevine that another will be released in April, so the current model will be cheap as shit. That just might be my graduation present...to myself!)

*I'm loving life.

*I made a new friend. She's so nice and she thinks I'm funny (no funny business...scouts honor).

*I'm eating Lay's chips for breakfast and they are freaking delicious.

Until soon,

N*

Maybe one day.......

I stumbled upon this song yesterday and instantly had the urge to dance. Not many people that have entered my life recently (I'll say in the past 3-5 years) has ever seen me dance or know the passion that I used to carry for dance.

I danced to this song yesterday and it was the most liberating, evolutionary, purposeful, meaningful, amazing thing that I have done in a very LONG time. Every step I took, I exhaled. Every turn I did, I exhaled. Every random motion I completed, I exhaled.

And then I cried. Not that snotty cry, but that relieved cry. That intense, heart pounding, you feel so good and no longer tense cry. Mmphh........



Maybe one day I'll record my random dancing. It's going to become part of my normal routine now.

P.S. Donny Hathaway takes my breath away.

N*

1st Order of Business

You will appreciate me.....or you won't have me.

N*

Behold...a series

I know I said I would start my Behold series, but I've been extra busy with life. And I love it. I've been focused and organized (even though I still need to clean my house, but I'll get around to that later).

*I am ready for school to really begin. I continue to realize that I only have 4 more months in Alabama. Such a bittersweet thought that crosses my mind. I have learned so much here. Grown tremendously. Experienced amazing people, sunsets, summer nights. They are coming to an end soon. The fact that I even experienced them is enough for me. I will treasure my thoughts for eternities.

*I got a raise at work!!! Hells to the muth@fuk!n yeah!!! My boss literally walked in a said "I gave you a raise. Effectively immediately. Ok cool." I thinked I smiled for 2 hours. SOOOOOO grateful and blessed! I was really trying to figure out and calculate how I was going to save the amount of money that I really wanted to save for my journeys back to Chicago and trust me....this raise will DEF help.

*We had a great time in Atlanta this past weekend. My mommy's 60th birthday and my roommate moved there. It was great! Spent time with my fav cousin and he put me on some RIDICULOUS music. Think about this, he has over 5,500 albums in his music collection. Not songs......ALBUMS!!! Crazy!

*On the search for the perfect graduation outfit. The shoes MUST be bangers. I'll let you  know what I find.

*I have a new roomie. She'll be moving in next Tuesday. I'll take pictures of her pretty lil face for you. She's an athletic trainer for the Alabama State football. Some of the guys from the team will be moving her furniture. I will be supplying the lemonade and cookies. ;-)

*Upcoming travel plans: Columbus, Ohio to see an old friend in 2 weeks. Chicago, IL to find an apartment March 11-14th. New York City to be determined. Chicago, IL to live, prosper, and grow on May 15th!

*A person that I kinda know through association sent me a random message and told me their tiny little secret. This person dreams about me! Whattttt?!?!? Are people really intrigued by lil ol' me. I surely hope so!!!

*Broke up with a friend the other day. Sad, but not really. I actually feel really good about it. I was talking to Kurtis about it and I had the urge to cry for 2 seconds. Then my soul said "be calm" and the urge was gone. Like I told this person and like many of my close friends know, I don't let a lot of people into my life. Yes I am a social person, but I reserve my friendliness, energy, effort, time, space, gifts, love, whatever to those I think deserve it and will appreciate it. I really felt like this friend didn't desire to be in my life anymore. I felt like this friend was so caught up in back and forth relationships that they couldn't see how much I was willing to help and be there for them. All I kept thinking when I was discussing certain things with my ex-friend was "What's wrong with being single?" It really sucks but so many people I know (or hear about) get consumed in relationships instead of focusing on themselves and learning who they are. Get experience in life before you continue to manipulate other's lives.

*Major photoshoots coming up. Too excited. I'm also looking into joining an agency. I hope all goes well.

That's it for now. This was much longer than I intended it to be. I always ramble. The moral of this post was supposed to be that I would begin my Behold series.

Peace is supreme.

N*

I love.....

Compliments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give them to me.....give me more!
yum..yum..yum..yum. ;-)

N*

Life Changing words......

She said:

Peace is supreme, my love. Give love, keep love and love will come back. Smile often and people that frustrate you, let go.
-Tenn

These words are about to change my life.

Thank you Tenn.

N*

Life

Glorified in situations
through manifestations.

Really trying

I feel like my motto for today should be "Woooosahhhhh!"

I know there are tons of people wondering, "Why the hell are you still in school Nia?!" The fact of the matter is the education system that we rely so heavily on is very fucked up (please excuse my language). This is my 4th year in school and my patience is starting to wear thin. How is it possible that I have close to 160 credit hours and I still haven't graduated.

Oh....I think I know why............

* Several classes that I need to graduate are offered at the same exact time (literally....the same time, classrooms right next to each other).

* My advisors are overwhelmed so I have done my own advising for the past fewsemesters. Only NOW are my advisors and other professors taking the initative to help me figure out what classes I need.

* There is a conspiracy theory to keep students in college for as long as possible to continue the outpour of government and local funding that colleges and universities receive when students enroll.

* Lastly, I still have not graduated because there is not enough time in the day to take ALL the classes I need, continue working, manage my business/career, and be a normal, socialable, calm, and evolving human being.

I like.....I love learning, but at a certain point, the education system makes me resent it....heavily! Unregretably!

I would think they would want us to graduate in an acceptable timeframe. The more graduates they have, the more support they would be able to count on from alumni. DUH!!! The happier you make students, the more money they will allocate for you when they begin their careers. The careers that we are sooooooooo desperately desiring and the careers that you won't let us start because we missed an art appreciation class.

I need to stop ranting because I can go on for hours. My tummy hurts!

So for this semester, instead of taking the 3 classes that my advisor told me I needed to take, I am now having to enroll in 6 classes.

Let the tears begin.

N*

New status:

I really want to vent right now, but part of me is saying I really don't have to. Even though sadness overwhelms me, relationships sometimes just are meant to work out. Now that I look back on it, I should have never pursued a relationship with you. I love you to death, but you weren't ready for the situation I put you in. I should have thought more, prayed more, mediated more, realized more. It's too late for that now.

I appreciate your presence in my life. One day you will make someone very happy. As your friend, I gave your advice in love and life that will always be relevant. You need to learn how to communicate better. Shrugging shoulders will never progess a relationship. Trust me....I have the statistics.

There are certain things that I expect in a relationship. Even though I am very anti-relationship in most points of my life, I do realize what is healthy/unhealthy, real/fake, good/bad for love. If you showed more effort to me, I'm sure we wouldn't have the problems that we've had. In this process of life, lessons are infinite. I have the ability to teach you. You have the same ability. My hope is that I've taught you, most importantly, that if your partner (emotionally/mentally) needs something from you, give it to them. It will work out for both parties.

Writing me a poem didn't seem like a ridiculous request.

I love you. Always will.

N*

The influence goes strong....

N*

Truthfully

I don't feel this way at all, but I was just thinking:

In heartbreak, ice cream is the only thing that can defrost the heart.

N*

Brooklyn Moon

Behold
Here standing before you is a hurt soul
Understanding that no life is easy
Not breezy
Without wind
So lifeless
Only word to define my journey is sacrifices
More often than not, my goal is to adopt
Babies, puppies, lost souls of the same sort
To offer some type of support.
They say that two heads are better than one
But I've seen your 3-headed reflection in the mirror
Shall I go get my gun?
Bipolar ways
Good and Bad days
Been 2 weeks since I've really talked to you
Only hearing your voice will bring back deja vu
Fuck that!
Who wants to remember those months, days, hours, minutes, seconds
Milli-measurements of time
When you were who you wasn't.
When you said you did, but you really doesn't.
Caught up,
Caught in between.
Prescriptions of Promethazine
Couldn't bring me to the lowest depths of this reality
Constantly you lied to me.
When you were who you wasn't.
When you said you did, but you really doesn't.
Or didn't.
Or couldn't.
Or wouldn't.
Tell me the truth
About what you really wanted in life
You never know,
I could have helped you find it
Instead you and I became blinded
All of the lights couldn’t have adjusted our pupils
Exposed our eyes to the facts that had the potential to cripple
Lamer than the limbs
Limper than impotent dicks
Weightless
Stagnant
That’s all that’s between us now.
I see now that all good things must come to an end
Maybe it’s better if they cease before they have the opportunity to begin.

: There's so much more I want to say....but I think I want to stop this one right where it is and continue onto a new piece. I will never considered myself a poet....I just see words. Hardly do I ever erase something I've typed (I do all of my writings in my Blackberry). Whatever I think and see or feel, that's what I write. I appreciate this ability in my life because it's so meaningful and real and honest and firm. I couldn't imagine scratching something out or going back and changes. I feel, I see, I think, I write. It's done.

But starting this poem did give me an idea to start a series called: Behold. All of the works will start with that and manifest into whatever my mind and heart desires. I'm excited. Still have to finish Bungalow Blues.

Brooklyn Moon was inspired by a poet that I saw at an Open Mic in Brooklyn on Monday night. She was powerful, but vulnerable, but soooo damn powerful. Everything I wish I could be. I don't even know her name. Her words made me cry a little bit. She was just...powerful. Every word she spoke, I saw it leaving her mouth. Every word became visible. If I was close enough, I would have tried to grab each word and put it in my pocket for later use. :

N*

Back like cooked crack

I was in NY and had an amazing time. I wrote some things, experienced a lot, laughed a ton, and my back and thighs are now strong like bull from walking and lifting things.

I will tell you more about my journey later.

Working on a new project now. Hopeful that I can complete it within the next two days.

Mighty Morphin Super Nia....ACTIVATE!!!!!

Oh...and I started writing this piece. It's growing out of control. I dreamt (?) about it last night. It's inspired by someone kinda but too powerful to be confined to the thoughts I have of only one person. Does that make sense?

N*