.......

My hair feels so freaking awesome.

I went snorkeling while in Nassau and I guess the salt water smoothed out my situation. Lol.

And it's getting so long.

#LoveMyNaturalHair

N*

For. You.

Even if I was gushy....it would have no affect on you. You're an emotionless asshole (sometimes).

But the fact still remains.

I. Adore. You.

N*

Get Into IT!

Still one of my favs.

This song and video gave me LIFE. Nikka is a easy, breezy, beautiful bad bitch.

N*

Sales meeting

I've been at the Palomar Hotel all day for Namaste sales meeting. Great experience.

Surprisingly, I'm happy when I'm working.

That only means to me that I need to work harder.

N*

Every person that I've ever wanted in my life....
Fully, completely, truly
Uninhibited
Has hurt me.

A stranger reminded me of that.
Boldly told me I was a woman scorn.

I know that.

People don't understand how fragile I am. How gushy I am on the inside.

The constant trials and triumphs of life have hardened my shell. Impervious to heat, water, or love.

I know that.

Yet.
And.
Still.
I try to make people feel wanted. I want to be the sweetest person you've ever known. I want my energy to freely flow from me to your entity.

I long for love. I really do. Tell me what does it feel like for someone to just want YOU. I mean me. I have to stay patient. More optimistic than I should be. Getting much better.

Yet.
And.
Still.
I am a woman scorn.

The feeling. Hit me like 6 bricks in a tube sock. The 1st time.... 2nd time....every time.

The stranger hurt me. But told me I was a woman scorn.

I know that.

Balanced

It won't go away anytime soon.

I'm not pessimistic,

BUT

I'm not that optimistic.

It will balance out.

N*

Early Monday Morning

Your fingers laced with mine.
Your scent refuses to leave my pillow.
I prayed that it would stay.
As well as you.
No longer can I be greedy for your time and affection.
I'll use this time and space apart for reflection.

Safe travels.

Lazy Sundays

The growth of the human mind
Exponentially reminds me of....
Lazy Sundays
The increase
The decrease
Of nerve endings and synapses
Remind me of Lazy Sundays
Trying so hard to make an impact
Too lazy and sluggish to react
To the motions of the day.
That one day to relax and chill,
No longer feel
Except for the power of Jesus, of course
Finally ready to express remorse
These Lazy Sundays
Manifest a stop and go
The yes and no
You're a sinner or a hoe
Lazy Sundays are the rest phase from constant planning and partying of the night before.
When your mind was only concerned with being a whore.
Lazy Sundays do more than the negative, of course.
Sometimes it channels intelligent discourse.
Lazy Sundays are the days you watch your news
Get the latest on the economy
Just follow me
The same way you believe the opinions of the TV host
That's doing the most
Pointing blame
Shedding dirt on everyone's name
Barely discussing the real issues

Sigh

These
Lazy
Sundays.

N*

Blah day #23432849948321

Motivating myself needs to be my 1st priority.

I'm slightly happy, not truly fulfilled.

I feel like I cry all the time for no good reason.

When does a confused soul finally reach a path that isn't cluttered with debris. Clear enough to walk straight. Not worried about stubbing my toes. Or failing.

N*

Reinstated

I've been away for so long. I guess it is only proper that I do my random shpeel about the things that are going at this exact moment.

Ok...here goes!

So I finally started writing again. Nothing spectacular or long or intricate. Just something to get my feet wet again.

So you weren't filled enough?
I didn’t inspire you to rebuild enough
Sift through the rubble and find what we could use for US.

I created a new blog for a friends/family hair challenge and it's going well, I would say. I'm just super happy that I am able to encourage and motivate my peeps to a better way. I've been super lazy lately, so it's actually encouraging me to do MORE! In the ways that I eat and take care of myself. In the way that I learn and grow. This whole thing has helped me tremendously. I just have to stay focused.

I was in NY for 2 weeks and had the time of my life. Too much to write about. It was beautiful though. It showed me a lot about myself and who I needed to become.

In my adventures of life, I found some really cool places in Chicago that I have never been to before. This weekend in particular has been spectacular because I was exposed to elemenets of Chicago that I complained were lacking. Silly me! Even though I am looking for a job in another city, I am starting to appreciate Chicago and its role in my life. I can tell it wants our relationship to be more mutual. Chicago wants me to explore her more.

Oh, super random....lately, women that I know (friends and family) have had these on-and-off relationships with people and it seems very UGH to me. The relationships are not healthy nor evolving (just based off the stories I hear and experiences I encounter). It just seems like something is out of place in their relationships. Or maybe it's me that doesn't realize the power of love. The pulling force of love. I haven't been in a "relationship" in a long time. My last relationship wasn't all that it could be....I know that. Mostly because of me. I recognize my faults. But do I want to have love again in my life if it's going to involve drama, tears, indecisiveness, happiness, insecurities, and hopefully conversation?

Totally unrelated, but slightly related (but not in a rude way). Congrats to you Taryn for rekindling your old flame.....again. You look so happy and filfulled. You don't know how happy I am because of that. I went to a Stevie Wonder tribute party and I had a lot of FUN!!!! I knew that would bring a smile to your Superwoman, Signed-Sealed-Delivered loving ass. :-)

I love these skates!!! AAHHHHH!H!H!!!! =D

Oh, I moved to an apartment on 35th and Indiana with my friend. It's awesome!! I love it. I don't mind living with a boy either. You already know that I love listening to people, their opinions, jokes, hardships, triumphs, all that good stuff. It feels good to get this prospective.

I have to go wash my hair. I have a ton more o' random to post.

Be back soon.

Nia.