Energtic

Dedicated to Jay.

Lifeless moments interact with sparks of energy.
More than the balance it creates,
Notice how the energy causes shakes.
Vibrations and pulsations.
Random and underappreciated.
You are...
Underappreciated and random.
Shaking the neutrons in my darkness
Causing illumination
A warm tingling sensation.
Makes me wonder how energy feels
Or how negative and positive come together to seal the deal.
I should have walked away right from the very start
But the energy held me against my will
Supernaturally
And it happened constantly
The push and pull
The positive and negative
The reaction
The vibration
The sensation
The illumination
You are...

N*

Lazy Sundays

The growth of the human mind
Exponentially reminds me of....
Lazy Sundays
The increase
The decrease
Of nerve endings and synapses
Remind me of Lazy Sundays
Trying so hard to make an impact
Too lazy and sluggish to react
To the motions of the day.
That one day to relax and chill,
No longer feel
Except for the power of Jesus, of course
Finally ready to express remorse
These Lazy Sundays
Manifest a stop and go
The yes and no
You're a sinner or a hoe
Lazy Sundays are the rest phase from constant planning and partying of the night before.
When your mind was only concerned with being a whore.
Lazy Sundays do more than the negative, of course.
Sometimes it channels intelligent discourse.
Lazy Sundays are the days you watch your news
Get the latest on the economy
Just follow me
The same way you believe the opinions of the TV host
That's doing the most
Pointing blame
Shedding dirt on everyone's name
Barely discussing the real issues

Sigh

These
Lazy
Sundays.

N*

Slowly getting back in the groove

This man
Came from nowhere
Fell from the sky
Beyond the somewhere
In an instant
Combustion occurred
Sending domino-effect inspired reactions to reach from the top of my curls to the gray polish that adorns my toes.
No need to worry about the other hoes because this is something I know.
I know and appreciate the tingle I feel when I transfer my energy to his beautiful brown skin.
I know and remember the intensity that the walls and the door and the sheets and the shower whisper about after we left our mark.
I know and need this man.
The combustion keeps me.
I won't forget it.
It won't leave me.
I need it.
I know.

N*

Late Nights

Lay behind me
Place your hand around my throat
Pull me closer
Control my breath
As I fall into slumber
You will control my thoughts.

N*

Start: 10:28pm (3/16/2011)

Laying in the bed right now.....
Not worried about the world around me.
Candle light slightly glistens in the corner of my left eye.
The computer screen blocks the obstruction of its full flame.
Heart beats fast due to the intake
My mistake
Inhale.

End: 10:30pm (3/16/2011)

N*

Anti-Assisination

Thunder and lightning fill the air
And the sensation of the tingle was your dowry.
It's one thing to hear you breathing loudly
But this time it seemed that your lungs didn't even care.
Rapidly intaking and ingesting that energy
Spewing it back.....
Projectile style.
Not even concerned with the outside,
But the here and now
And somehow
A single shot hits me
POW!
Death is not upon me
It's like reincarnation
Revitalization
This crazy sensation
This inspiration
Begs of me to show you my appreciation
In the back seat of your car.

N*

Poem: plethora

So I wrote this is history class the other day and it's creation is influenced by class, documentaries, life, and love. I will call it poem: plethora. Don't really know what to title it. Usually I don't know what to title most of the randomness I write. And trust me, this will be random. But then again, it's not to me. I know why it is and what it is.

Sentiments
Sentimental feelings
Mental acrobats
The causation of the psychology exercise that works out the brain
Keeps it right and tight
And worrisome and confused
Lies in a small space in the southern hemisphere of the United States
Too far but never too far to know that the heart beats louder than drums played by any musicians' band.
Understand?
Sentiments.
Sentimental feelings
Will never disappear like the sky or the heavens
Or the trees and in the summertime
All the bees.
They won't go away like the pestering people that live blind to the realities of the world.
More concerned with pop culture than human nature.
Naturally, it leaves one hurt and bruised.
Feelings that seem to overlap.
Building sturdy foundations where brokenness can lay
Safely.
Accompanied by regret.
I bet.....
You any amount of money that better times will come.
I just don't know where they would come from.

N*

In Social Psychology class......

No poetry comes to mind
Thoughts filled with frustrations
Regret
And a sense of defeat.
My feat was strong, heavy, and bold.
Not really concerned with the term 'old'.
More mature, more experienced,
More something.
Perhaps.
Considering the possibility of love was something like a trap.
I moved too slow.
It snapped
Onto me like I was a mouse
Caught in its final resting place.
Love will be the death of me.

N*

Brooklyn Moon

Behold
Here standing before you is a hurt soul
Understanding that no life is easy
Not breezy
Without wind
So lifeless
Only word to define my journey is sacrifices
More often than not, my goal is to adopt
Babies, puppies, lost souls of the same sort
To offer some type of support.
They say that two heads are better than one
But I've seen your 3-headed reflection in the mirror
Shall I go get my gun?
Bipolar ways
Good and Bad days
Been 2 weeks since I've really talked to you
Only hearing your voice will bring back deja vu
Fuck that!
Who wants to remember those months, days, hours, minutes, seconds
Milli-measurements of time
When you were who you wasn't.
When you said you did, but you really doesn't.
Caught up,
Caught in between.
Prescriptions of Promethazine
Couldn't bring me to the lowest depths of this reality
Constantly you lied to me.
When you were who you wasn't.
When you said you did, but you really doesn't.
Or didn't.
Or couldn't.
Or wouldn't.
Tell me the truth
About what you really wanted in life
You never know,
I could have helped you find it
Instead you and I became blinded
All of the lights couldn’t have adjusted our pupils
Exposed our eyes to the facts that had the potential to cripple
Lamer than the limbs
Limper than impotent dicks
Weightless
Stagnant
That’s all that’s between us now.
I see now that all good things must come to an end
Maybe it’s better if they cease before they have the opportunity to begin.

: There's so much more I want to say....but I think I want to stop this one right where it is and continue onto a new piece. I will never considered myself a poet....I just see words. Hardly do I ever erase something I've typed (I do all of my writings in my Blackberry). Whatever I think and see or feel, that's what I write. I appreciate this ability in my life because it's so meaningful and real and honest and firm. I couldn't imagine scratching something out or going back and changes. I feel, I see, I think, I write. It's done.

But starting this poem did give me an idea to start a series called: Behold. All of the works will start with that and manifest into whatever my mind and heart desires. I'm excited. Still have to finish Bungalow Blues.

Brooklyn Moon was inspired by a poet that I saw at an Open Mic in Brooklyn on Monday night. She was powerful, but vulnerable, but soooo damn powerful. Everything I wish I could be. I don't even know her name. Her words made me cry a little bit. She was just...powerful. Every word she spoke, I saw it leaving her mouth. Every word became visible. If I was close enough, I would have tried to grab each word and put it in my pocket for later use. :

N*

One step from death

I think I'm dying
You took the life out of me
All my breath
All my energy
The functions of my organs no longer in synergy
I think I'm dying
Little white lights become larger
I can see them in distance
They appear to be getting closer
The urgency of my life is now over.
Before I take my last breath,
Let me write this letter.
Fixing my final will and testament to make it a little better.
To you I leave everything.
All I ask is that you let me keep the ring
The one you gave to symbolize our love
Our dreams
Our future
In you I am in awe of
All that I ask is that you confess
To all your crimes
The cruel acts forever stuck in my mind
Tell them you sucked the life out of me
Circled your tongue around all my fixtures
Assuring me a lifetime guarantee
Tell them you kissed me and my breath was taken away
I could not attempt to speak
You were the master, my job was to obey
Tell them you swept me off my feet
Causing me to free fall to a sacred place down deep
Tell them I trusted you
And you gave me everything I wanted and more.
Tell them you killed me with your kindness
Every promise fulfilled because you swore
I think I'm dying
And I need to thank you
You revitalized me
Then you made love to me
You set me free
My life is now complete

N*

I hiccup.

It was with you that I realized the power of words
Swirling through my mind was the thought of your words landing on the lunar surface of my soul
Our bodies completing an eclipse.
The words you spoke were made tangible
I felt them.
Smoother than silk
Airy.
Lighter than your skintone
Heavy.
Thicker than your thighs.
Provoked every sensual thought in my mind
Caressing your front
Kissing you from behind
I'm not oversexual, but I can make a nun come
Never be confused
This is no part of a mental conundrum.
Your words created a straight and narrow path showing me where you were coming from.
I'm going to trust you and your words
You seem to be partners in crime
Saving me infinitely from a life with no value, lack of thought, and wasted time.
Ever affected by your tag team duo
I hope you're thinking of things we can.....
You know.
I want make love on a bed of words
Unlike roses that wilt and eventually die
Your words give me an everlasting supply
Of oxygen......
More than breath
They create depth
I tell you to dig deep when we make love
Each inch you continue to give
Makes me intoxicated with words
I hiccup.

N*

Every morning

Every morning I wake and say/think 'Sun Salutations'. This is for the sun.

I can only salute the sun so many times before I feel like I deserve a permanant place in the celestial army.
More than the general,
the sun is like the creator.
Realizing and understanding our needs for rays.
The vitamin D you provide is more than a need, more like necessity.
More than necessity, more like a want.
More than a want, more like an understanding.
A balance.
Just as much as I need the sun,
it needs me too.
It appreciate my salutes.
As a solider in the suns' army,
I follow orders.
As a solider in the suns' army,
General, I salute you.

N*

Cataloging.......

Just something I wrote recently. I was inspired for a second. Too bad it didn't last.

Glance into (in two) worlds

When you go to sleep,
What do you think about?
Dream about?
In your fantasy world,
what do you live without?
Is pain and strife nonexistent?
Is it a world where you are hardly ever timid?
Unafraid of yourself
Your possibilities
Your destinies
In my fantasy world, you are one of the rulers
Measuring me up,
Dictating the terms of my love.
Your charisma and powers is something I could have never dreamed of.
As we lay in my bed,
preparing ourselves to enter our domains' imaginary,
I only have one request for now.
I ask that we fall asleep with our lips touching so our souls can converse through the night.
Fully sharing thoughts and memories without rations.
Making the rules and breaking the rules of our passion.
Continuously lighting our flame
For every time we ignite,
my fantasy world comes to light.

*

Cataloging

These poems are old....but I need to keep a record of them. That's what this blog is for.
                                                                                                            
Contact Lenses.....

Even though life happens
Our times are sometimes saddened
Common goals are to be happy
in a safe space
Mentally at the moemnt
I'm waiting for atonement
From my mistakes...mishaps...and misery
My only regret is not my actions
per say
But more the people affected by my ways
Even more I am continously affected by what you say
My eyes have been green for days.
                                                                                                                             
THE ART OF.......

From the twilight
to the moonlight
Beaming down through
the clouds
Around the atmosphere
and settling on my window pane
It's such a shame
Wish it could only reach just a little
more
Just enough to scorch my
flesh
The incandescence of my skin
mutes the fire within
Going against all of my peaceful nature
I yearn for intensity
Even infidelity
Cheating on my thoughts with fantasies of you
In my mind the halograms
of your skin come into view
Just teach me
I could read you
Pause as I put away Sun Tzu.

*

Junk Mail

I've been MIA lately. Trying to milk this birthday thing until it is DRY!!!!!!!!!! But I'm done with all of that now. Need to get back on my grind. Just like I should be.

This post might be kind of long.

I need to clean out some of words, thoughts, memories, and times in my phone and notebook. Since I'm 24 now ( =D ) I figured I would slightly start anew. Just for my own old sake.

Most of this stuff is unfinished and unorganized; however, they are my thoughts so they are always valid.

Projects don't equal progress like the polygon that demands you to halt.
It's not my fault.


I watch Penguins of Madagascar
Not able to camouflage the scar
that was left behind
How can you forget about
someone that quick?
Like I didn't even matter
But what makes me so much sadder,
The fact that I don't think you continue to care
Never enough to share
Your true feelings
Answers without the precedence of questions
My quest has been to be happy
and loved throughout your soul.
I must be half the woman she is,
Because she got the whole you
Able to hold you
The way I wanted to
Needed too

'I drink poison
Then
I vomit diamonds.'

Ok....my phone is acting janky now. Of course. I might post some later....never....who knows. Once again, this is just miscellaneous words, thoughts, aspects of life.

I still feel certain things.....unfortunately....I'm becoming numb.

*

The broken ones

I'm inspired by so many things
Shiny rings
Soulful beings
Entrapped in a land of gray and black
I volunteer myself to be the spark
that makes the people react.
Just my luck this time around
Morale and motivatation are on the decline
Down further than the Earth's mantle
I just don't know how many people can truly handle
Collectivity
Some type of unity
How come we don't already have this,
Are you kidding me?!
So you mean to tell me
Most in the world are care free
Refuse to open their eyes,
afraid of what they might see.
My peeps need to use their peepers
Instead of contemplating on whether it's cheaper
to keep her
Or hoping that this man will help you pay off your Visa
If you just stop and realize
The lessons the elders could teach ya
Raise these babies up so they can be the feature
of the land.
We are the people.
Who's going to save our souls now?
Peace and blessings to Gnarls Barkley
The only art they know are the markings
on the side of buildings
Anyone creative......
They marked me
Hunt us down like a sharp shooter
We must shoot off our knowledge to school her
and him
and them
Even the lost ones
The forgotten ones
The broken ones.

*

Heart of the City

I walk the streets
Yearning for the sense of community
Every neighborhood I go to
The spirit of the block enters me
More prevalent than the epidemics
More benevolent than any minister
Every sinister walks through the streets
Lending their steps together
Creating the city's heartbeat
So much graffiti
It ends up feeding me
Culture
Colorful but choking me
Suffocating me like the smoke and smell that comes from the stinch of the torn down buildings
Cabrini Green
Roshonda is Black
Kelly is White
And the divide between them is fast food sign bright
Only one more killer of my people
Not even the highest church steeple can provide salvation
In this nation
My people are disadvantaged
Treated like were savages
This is my culture
These are my streets
My city is always loud
Can't you hear our heartbeat?

*

The Probability of Success

Research allows me to design a strategy
that will increase my chances of winning you over once again.
Taking more of a risk than if I was playing at the Palms.
You're worth the chances I need to take.
Over the last quarter, our meetings have not been productive,
Our conferences constantly disconnecting.
Leaving me to think that the market is crashing;
The Great Depression is among our relationship
Unless we itemize our portfolio and analyze our transactions.
I bet your 20% of your worth that our interactions have the ability to gain momentum
Get back on track to increase our value.
My dividends have decreased without you.
I need you.

*

Last Night

Beating down
Hard hitting
Thick drizzle
The sounds penetrated my ear drums
Swirling through the canal
My head pounding
Absorbing the stresses of the day made my body shut down
In turn my mind began to suffer
But I heard salvation moving swiftly across the atmosphere
I heard it so intensely
Counldn't deny the rhythm that became of this natural phenomenon
The rain came down
Beating down
Hard hitting
Thick drizzle
Large drops
Water molecules pop
As they hit my patio
So mesmerizing
I turned off the television
I preferred the noise
Of the rain.

*