I'm good now.
Sometimes you just have to let things and people go (Deej reminded me of this). I understand that many people are blah about me leaving and I def understand. If people begin to distance themselves from me, they are doing it for their own personal reasons and I can't be mad at that. I'm sorry, but I won't beg anyone to come around and hang out or do the things we used to do as friends if they really don't want to.
Hopefully, we will remain friends despite our recent distance. Nevertheless, I'm GOOD! I have toooooooo much that I need to be focused on to be worried about my friends, or lackthereof. I know it sounds harsh, but it's true. I will always remain friends with the people I invite into my life.
Reciprocity is never my goal or objective.
N*
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Enlightenment
I had very insightful talks with my mom and my wife yesterday. Very insightful, to say the least.
They made me realize that it's quite possible that people are being rude and distancing themselves from me to protect their own feelings because I am leaving Alabama.
The relationships that I have established in Montgomery were awesome neverthless, there's no beating around the bush....I'm leaving in a few weeks. I don't expect the people that I have established relationships with to talk to me every single day, but I do believe in loyalty and communication. I really do work hard in making sure my friends are happy and growing and always supported. I know that I might go from zero to sixty sometimes in terms of my temper/attitude but after both parties calm down, we laugh, and we move on.
As of recently, people very close to me have distanced themselves from me and have done some VERY shady things and in the back of my mind, I feel like it's my fault. My mommy and wife reminded me that I can't blame myself for anything because I was not the only person involved in the relationship (I don't mean lovey dovey relationship either. Whenever two people come together and engage in interaction and socialization, a relationship is formed. Please forgive the sociologist in me.).
People are trying to cope with me leaving Alabama just as much as I am trying to cope with leaving them AND Alabama.
Of course my hope was that my friends and I communicate and come to some type of balance and contentment leading up to my departure. This balance would carry on to Chicago and they would come and visit in the summer. Or we could talk on the phone often to make sure our lives are still aligned. Whatever I expected. It's not really happening that way.
I want my friends to know that regardless of what you have done in the past couple of weeks, I AM still your friend and I hold the same values since the beginning of our friendship. I care, I love, I support. From any distance....from any city.
N*
They made me realize that it's quite possible that people are being rude and distancing themselves from me to protect their own feelings because I am leaving Alabama.
The relationships that I have established in Montgomery were awesome neverthless, there's no beating around the bush....I'm leaving in a few weeks. I don't expect the people that I have established relationships with to talk to me every single day, but I do believe in loyalty and communication. I really do work hard in making sure my friends are happy and growing and always supported. I know that I might go from zero to sixty sometimes in terms of my temper/attitude but after both parties calm down, we laugh, and we move on.
As of recently, people very close to me have distanced themselves from me and have done some VERY shady things and in the back of my mind, I feel like it's my fault. My mommy and wife reminded me that I can't blame myself for anything because I was not the only person involved in the relationship (I don't mean lovey dovey relationship either. Whenever two people come together and engage in interaction and socialization, a relationship is formed. Please forgive the sociologist in me.).
People are trying to cope with me leaving Alabama just as much as I am trying to cope with leaving them AND Alabama.
Of course my hope was that my friends and I communicate and come to some type of balance and contentment leading up to my departure. This balance would carry on to Chicago and they would come and visit in the summer. Or we could talk on the phone often to make sure our lives are still aligned. Whatever I expected. It's not really happening that way.
I want my friends to know that regardless of what you have done in the past couple of weeks, I AM still your friend and I hold the same values since the beginning of our friendship. I care, I love, I support. From any distance....from any city.
N*
Truth.
Everybody act according to the season that they born in
Some in the night
Some in the morning
Some at noon
Some in winter some in June
It's all cool, it's natural
-Black Dante-Mos Def-The Boogeyman.
(History)
N*
Some in the night
Some in the morning
Some at noon
Some in winter some in June
It's all cool, it's natural
-Black Dante-Mos Def-The Boogeyman.
(History)
N*
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Victims of Progress
I've been hurt by so many people in the past couple of weeks.
I feel like a victim of emotional assault.
I need to remember to breathe.
Progression should be my only priority.
N*
I feel like a victim of emotional assault.
I need to remember to breathe.
Progression should be my only priority.
N*
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Reminescent......
Of the great J. Dilla.
Enjoy.
His mixtape is available on Bandcamp, it's not super spectacular though.
(geteye.bandcamp.com)
N*
Enjoy.
His mixtape is available on Bandcamp, it's not super spectacular though.
(geteye.bandcamp.com)
N*
Unknown
I wrote this on a sticky note forever ago, I'm assuming.
Found it on an old article from school.
It states:
Would you hate me if I never came back to Chicago?
Why can't we link up @ airports around the world?
Like perfect strangers.
N*
Found it on an old article from school.
It states:
Would you hate me if I never came back to Chicago?
Why can't we link up @ airports around the world?
Like perfect strangers.
N*
Monday, March 21, 2011
I really don't know what to do.....
It's hard to let go,
But I've done it before.
I know parts of the truth.
Discovered through drunken stupors.
But do I depend on that for my heart's insight?
I really don't know what to do.
N*
But I've done it before.
I know parts of the truth.
Discovered through drunken stupors.
But do I depend on that for my heart's insight?
I really don't know what to do.
N*
Serenity
"Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the center of it all" - Robert Pirsiq
"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm" - Unknown
"Bordeom is the feeling that everything is a waster of time; serenity, that nothing is"- Thomas Szasz
"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lighten human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment" - Grenville Kleiser
"There was a peace, a serenity, an absence of all sense of responsibility, an absence of worry, an absence of care, grief, perplexity; and the presence of a deep content and unbroken satisfaction in that hundred millions years of holiday which I look back upon with a tender longing and with a grateful desire to resume, when the opportunity comes" - Mark Twain
"The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity" - Andre Gide
N*
"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm" - Unknown
"Bordeom is the feeling that everything is a waster of time; serenity, that nothing is"- Thomas Szasz
"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lighten human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment" - Grenville Kleiser
"There was a peace, a serenity, an absence of all sense of responsibility, an absence of worry, an absence of care, grief, perplexity; and the presence of a deep content and unbroken satisfaction in that hundred millions years of holiday which I look back upon with a tender longing and with a grateful desire to resume, when the opportunity comes" - Mark Twain
"The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity" - Andre Gide
N*
This Weekend.....
I did absolutely nothing and it felt stupendious.
Now, back to grindin (and detoxing).
N*
Now, back to grindin (and detoxing).
N*
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